"But That Sounds Like A Beautiful Woman's Name!"

...that is how a former ESL student of a friend of mine's reacted to hearing that "Durchfall" is called "diarrhea" in English. How could such a wonderful word describe such a horrible thing?

And why the hell was this guy trying to talk about his bout of diarrhea in front of complete strangers, in the first place?

I thought long and hard about posting this one, but let me tell you, these people are leaving me NO CHOICE.

When our flight landed in Frankfurt after an eleven-hour flight, we were greeted by my in-laws at the airport. My first question was, "How are you?", to which my mother-in-law answered, "I'm fine but Joachim has stomach problems. He had diarrhea all night long." My father-in-law continued with a huge smile, "That's right! I drank too much last night and now I have been on the toilet all day! As soon as I get off, I need to go right back!"

Oh, ok. Thanks for sharing.

I'm always told that Americans don't really CARE how you are when they ask you. In my case, that's not true, I am just not all that interested in hearing the details of what kind of stomach problems you are having and its symptoms.

Unfortunately, whatever my father-in-law had apparently wasn't from too much beer, since it hung around for another three full days. I know that exactly since the patient gave us complete updates at least three times a day, usually at mealtimes. (I know.) And then he passed it onto my husband, meaning not only does my husband keep me very well informed about all of it (unfortunately), but whenever we get together with his parents, they interrogate him about what he has eaten, how often he's been to the john since they saw him last, with or without stomach cramps, if he is drinking enough, etc. After the interrogation, it turns into analysis, then they begin with the advice. Again, all of this is taking place at mealtimes.

A few days ago, I mentioned the fact that the cream of mushroom soup wasn't tasting great because of the conversation, and all three of them looked at me like I was speaking Swahili.

(By the by, I wish I was exaggerating, I swear I am not! My most overused phrase of the week is, "I really don't want to know!")

After ten days, Christoph is feeling slightly better (although he did inform our waitress of his stomach issues when she offered him brandy tonight), so I hoping this too shall pass. I haven't gotten sick. And if I do, I won't tell a soul. ;)